Saturday, December 1, 2012

Movie Review: Talaash

Talaash is the sort of movie you've got real real high hopes from for a number of reasons. 1. It's an Aamir Khan movie. Brand name sold. 2. Reema Kagti's the director & screenplay writer along with Zoya Akhtar. It's got even Anurag Kashyap as its additional dialogues writer. Top-notch creative team sold. 3. It's got Nawazuddin Siddiqui. This man's a class actor. He belongs to the league of unconventional actors such as Manoj Bajpai, Naseerudin Shah, Abhay Deol. Sold.Sold.Sold.

Riding high on the Ethos factor, you're naturally bound to have high expectations from such a movie. Moreover, Talaash's trailer has an intriguing appeal that gets you hooked. It leaves an impression that it will be similar to the genre of Kahaani. Unfortunately, it is far far away from a spectacular movie like Kahaani. Given it's an Aamir Khan production/starrer, you'll be really disappointed when they burst the bubble. The suspense won't kill you but rather shock you in a bad way. In a omg-you've-got-to-be-kidding-me sort of way. In a you-couldn't-be-more-cliched way. If this was porn, the suspense killer of the movie would be like you being turned on & then been left there hanging...basically KLPD yaar. Ultimate KLPD.

The movie's got an interesting start,really keeps you gripped as the movie progresses but post-intermission,the magic starts to wear off and eventually, you realise it's just another cliched story. Personally, I had my own reservations even from the beginning of the movie. They could've done without the overuse of eerie music and uncalled for songs. It's like you're trying to make a suspense thriller at one hand while a Satyamev Jayate on the other. But oh well,I guess that's what you get when you hire Ram Sampath as the music director.

Plus,I couldn't agree more with Nikhil Taneja when he tweeted "Why do filmmakers *NEED* to use the name of the film in it? If you don't say "Talaash" 4 times, will the film be abt Mangal Pandey instead?"(Credits: @tanejamainhoon). I had the exact same sentiments everytime Aamir Khan used the word "Talaash" in the movie. It sounded as tacky as Chunkey Pandey's forever wardrobe malfunction, not to forget his unneeded attendance in Bollywood events. You really don't expect this from Aamir Khan.

For all Rani Mukherjee lovers, she was as good as being non-existent in the film so boo-hoo. The entire family angle did not click with me. I felt the movie had an unfocused plot with a really cliched ending. And I meannnnn cliched. When you watch the last scene of the movie, you'll get a deja vu of Satyamev Jayate. I kid you not. Also, Aamir Khan as a cop wasn't that convincing. I mean come on, you say he's an encounter specialist and all he does is give an unconvincing stare at people? Really? As great as an actor he is, he failed to invoke the elements of fear that he should have given his character brief that you get from the movie. Epic.Fail.

This movie is wrongly classified as a thriller. I don't know what genre to give it. It's like a cross between emotional drama and..I can't tell you the 2nd cos if I do,I'll be giving away the suspense of the movie so..go watch it and find out for yourself. Not really worth a theatre watch though.

In short,
Mediocre screenplay,Poor direction,Average dialogues,Good music,Bad background score,Decent acting.
My rating: 3/5. The movie's a decent one-time watch. It's not a bad movie per se. It's just not the sort of movie you expect Aamir Khan to deliver. It's disappointing for the benchmark he's set so high for us audiences and himself too.

Also, you know Ram Sampath, you could've just produced a solo album and asked Aamir Khan or I don't know..some other big brand to co-finance it. You didn't really have to make sure it was a part of a movie. You've got good sense of music bro, but not really when it comes to background score. went a *little* overboard there. Try a little less hard next time.

P.S - You know what's the real moral of the story? People may die,bodies may decay, but gem stones & rings are forever. Also, if you find one, even in the most creepiest of locations, yeah you keep it.Cos finders keepers, losers weepers.

Movie Review: Jab Tak Hai Jaan

When you make a movie that audiences would've appreciated only about 10 years back, which is about an unrealistic,dialogues-and-poetry-filled romance saga, that's when you get Jab Tak Hai Jaan.

With all due respect to the late Yash Chopra, who I believe every Indian girl, if not every-Indian, is a huge fan of, this movie had way too many flaws to begin with. I don't know where & how to begin, so I will just list down all the flaws as and when what comes to my mind.

The Flaws -:

1. The lack of chemistry between Shahrukh Khan & Katrina Kaif would murder you. A more gruesome murder than you would've seen in any of the Saw series of movies. No really, they were trying way too hard. Especially that one scene where they're supposed to kiss. That kiss makes me want to never kiss again ever. EVER. makes me feel nauseous as I think about it again now.

2. NO-WAY, and I mean NO-WAY-IN-FREAKIN-HELL does SRK pass out to be a 25-year-old "poor" guy nor does Katrina pass out to be a 21-year-old in the flashback. Why would Yash Chopra make SRK the "poor" guy in a movie? WhyWhyWhy??? SRK can never pass out to be that bloke who does double shifts and yet owns a freakin' guitar with a designer guitar strap & 2nd -Hand Royal Enfield. Dude, 2nd-Hand or first, it's ROYAL ENFIELD! No kiddin' around that man. That's just way too insulting.

3. Neither Rabbi Shergill's nor Mohit Chauhan's voice is suiting SRK. Not even an ounce bit. Again, no offences to AR Rahman but whattheck was he thinking selecting such young voices for a face like SRK's? Please tell me he got hit by a truck or something as that seems to be the recurring theme of this movie anyways. So he probably got Amnesia or some other illness that failed him from making a wise choice of suitable singers for SRK. Please tell me that and reassure my faith in humanity.

4. The lyrics. Oh God. I don't know where to begin. It's as if "Ishq Wala Love" wasn't bad enough that I had to witness a song such as Saans. Ishq Wala Love was written by some wannabe never-heard-before-lyricist whose name-I-can't-remember cos it isn't important. BUT, the lyricist here in concern is Gulzaar! You really don't expect the legend who wrote songs such as "Mera Kuch Samaan" ,"Yaara Silli Silli","Ae Ajnabi","Beedi" and in the most recent times, "Dil Toh Baccha Hai Ji" to write a song such as Saans! I'm guessing the age's finally acting up on him. Either that, or he had a writer's block. I've huge respect for him but apart from Challa, Heer & the title poem, the lyrics were just plain sad.

5. Anushka Sharma's hotness kills itself as soon as she opens her mouth. Her overacting & same bubbly role that's she been doing since Band Baja Baraat makes you want to step into the movie and strangle her squeaky tiny throat. Given her size negative-one-double-zero figure, I'm pretty sure she'd experience a death quicker than quickrrrrrr. Or 2-minutes maggi.

6. Never in my life have I witnessed a more dumb basis of argument than this movie is based on. I really don't know what's worse in this movie.. Katrina Kaif..or the character Katrina Kaif played in it. If I was SRK and I heard that crappy logic, I would take out a gun and shoot that female dog in the face & then shoot myself for ever falling in love with such a dumbass.

7. How Anushka Sharma stayed in London for soooo long despite she mentioning she'll have visa problem or some uncleared shit like that in the movie ten times beats me. How she say she's serious about documenting SRK's army life and yet be listening to her iPod at a bomb site beats me. How she can wear tinier clothes than beggar-out-in-the-hottest-of-climates in Kashmir beats me. How she can be a freakin' national swimmer and what not and yet be drowning in the ocean beats me. How How How...I've a list so long that I'll lose my memory by the time I finish typing out all of them.

8. The coincidental bomb-in-the-train scene is so so so hilariously stupid that it makes me want to cry. What makes it funnier is when SRK looks at a bag that's got the bomb and suddenly he's able to spit out bomb-language-words. and suddenly everything comes flashing back to him. Because you know, it's just that easy and he has x-ray vision of course.

9. Can someone explain to me how the HECK does Katrina looks the same after 10 years? Like NO wrinkles and NO,not even a milligram of extra fats, and NO change of dressing style and NO,not even a single strand of gray hair. Please tell me the secret of her effervescent beauty. Please tell me. Please give me the name of her make up & hair stylist.

There was an era of Veer Zaara, where I believed in romantic sagas and was mesmerised & smitten by that sort of love till a decade back. However, I do not believe that sort of magic does wonders for me now. Moreover, I would've still attempted to appreciate the movie had there been chemistry between SRK & the leading lady KK. You can try as hard as you want but you can't get chemistry out of a man in his late 40s and a lady in her late 20s. It ain't just happening in this case at the very least.

Having said all of this, SRK looks amazingly hot & sexy in his Army avatar(not that it makes sense for him to have such sexy hair and looks when the rest have SOP to follow for grooming but I'm gonna screw logic for just this once). I wish that never ended. I've never seen him looking this good in his recent movies. Last he looked good was probably Chak De..where he donned a similar look.

Old-but-no-Gold screenplay, mediocre if not cliched dialogues, wee-bit disappointing music, great cinematography, Old-but-no-Gold direction.
My ratings: 2/5 stars.
1 star for the legendary King of Romance - Yash Chopra. 1 star for title poem. I really love it. No one better than SRK could've read it.

The film is gonna hit a lot of lovestruck and fairy-tale believer hearts. Those who still live in a decade's back era & have unshakeable biasses and love for Yash Chopra, have probably already watched this movie 5 times on the silver screen. They're probably cursing me and vodoo dolling me as they read this review right now. But it's okay. I'm pretty thick-skinned and plus I could do with some acupuncture so thanks really.

Movie Review: Argo

Having heard raving reviews of Argo, I was really excited to watch this movie. Especially since I was sick & tired of the crappy alternative mostly-horror-movies that were screening here, apart from Skyfall. Plus the trailer seemed interesting. Plus the "based on declassified true story" claus got me hooked. Plus Ben Affleck's hot. Nuff' said.

Argo's a very interesting movie with a refreshing plot(obviously since it is based on a true story and the story's not been made into a movie until now). Ben Affleck's directed it fine. While Ben Affleck is the said lead protagonist of the movie, there isn't really a lead in this movie. It's rather about a team of characters that work towards achieving a particular goal. This teamwork shown in the movie is fascinating, perhaps even a learning point for all of us.

The positives -
Interesting storyline,good sense of humour & timing of that humour,no dramatic effects or moves & thus very realistic,smooth flow of story. Hats off to the writers Chris Terrio and Joshua Bearman. The story was indeed well written.

The negatives -
A *little* slow. Hence if you've had a long day or have tired eyes, choosing to go watch this movie wouldn't be one of the wisest choices you'd have made in that day. This movie requires you to pay attention as it has historical context and you won't get it if you don't follow through. Personally, I felt Ben Affleck could've given this movie a slightly better treatment. He could've covered the entire story at a 1x pace instead of the mostly-0.5x-pace he chose. Well written as it may be, it could've been better executed.

Fine direction, amazing screenplay, good cinematography, average editing.
My ratings - 3.5/5.
Although I've criticised the movie for it's snail pace, I have to give it for its inspirational plot. Given its historical significance, one is truly in awe when one witnesses the fairy tale ending. Having said that, I don't think it's a genre of movie that mass audiences would appreciate. Unless you're Canadian. Then perhaps the feelings of patriotism might rekindle in you & give you goosebumps. (:

Personally, I liked the movie.

Drama Series Review: The Newsroom(2012)

(Read this only if you've free time & don't mind letting it go to a waste. Alternatively, read this if you care about me and are secretly stalking me.)

Despite growing up in Singapore, I've always been deprived of TV. Pretty much yes. Not that we didn't have a TV. I was just really deprived of watching my kind of stuff on it. By the time I got addicted to cartoons, mom called up those cable services guys and got that channel removed. By the time I got onto MTV, she took away that too. So while my classmates were watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Malcom In The Middle and Desperate Housewives away, I was stuck with a mom who had monopolised the television set with Zee TV, Star Plus & Sony. Her monopoly still rules the house. But then again, she monopolises practically everything.

None of this really matters. But I was just trying to show what a sad tragic deprived life I've had of catching awesome shows & movies from TV. And I love using hyperboles & emotional blackmail in vain attempts of getting public sympathy. That's why I've learnt from *cough*mom*cough*. Cos that's what she learnt from *cough*bakwassaasbahuserials*cough*.

So anyways, it's only in the past few years that I caught up with that deprived life I missed out on.  It's pointless for me to write on old legendary shows like Friends, Prison Break, Big Bang Theory. However, I can write about most recent shows I've come across that I find interesting.

The Newsroom:

This show is one helluva show that gets your attention from the first episode. Just got released in June, it's first season's done with 10 episodes. The show's all about The Newsroom. Quite literally. Focusing on US politics & world news from the eyes of an American reporter, it revolves around couple of folks who're driven to present news as objective as possible.

Given how we live in the "Fox News" syndrome where everyone and everything is sensationalised,hoaxed even, Newsroom presents you a refreshing perspective on world issues. Moreover, it provides you with the inside scoop of how television news is produced. Yes, that means what goes behind the camera, the hardwork that a team of journalists have to do, the producers' job and of course, the entangled lovesexbooze life of all of them.

The show's a brilliant concept with perfect execution. From the screenplay to dialogues to direction and scripting, they Aaron Sorkin's nailed it with this series! Character detailing of the lead protagonists Will McAvoy(Jeff Daniels) & MacKenzie McHale(Emily Mortimer) together with the supporting cast has been well-dealt. I am really looking forward to its next season due some time in 2013.

My ratings: 8/10. 
If you're pursuing journalism or mass comm, this show's a must-must-watch for you. It's like your bible. It's the sort of stuff they won't really teach you in school.



Thanks to be the Gods for my awesome friends who introduce me to such shows & doubly-thanks to be the Gods who showed that man who came up with torrents & piracy. Thanks you Gods for showing us the light at that end of the monopolized-tv-set-dark-tunnel.
Long Live Piracy! Hail Internet & wonders of the WWW. \M/ \M/